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Shutterstock There once was a time in America — not too long ago — when the ebony and ivory piano keys, metaphorically, could not legally live in harmony. gradually warmed up to the idea of a Black and White union:1959 – 4 percent1971 – 29 percent1982 – 43 percent1995 – 48 percent2008 – 77 percent2013 – 87 percent Stats also show that Blacks have always approved Black-White marriages more than Whites.

When The Supremes were in full swing with their shimmery dresses and funky hairstyles, Black and White love was strictly forbidden. Well, let’s take a look at today’s interracial couples in America by the numbers, shall we? In 1969, 56 percent of Blacks were down for the swirl compared to only 17 percent of Whites.

“A thousand things went through my mind,” he recalls.

– where affinity groups can be together without the presence of the oppressor – exist: so that tough conversations can be had with fewer guards up, so that you can communicate thousands of ideas in a single collective sigh, so that you can cry together with those who don’t just sympathize, but empathize.

And while it’s important to be willing to talk to your partner about race and to feel comfortable bringing it up, it’s just as important to be willing to step back and recognize when your whiteness is intrusive. I’ve been the “But I love you, and you love me, and why can’t you share this with me? Because it’s really difficult to watch your partner hurt and not be let in. Maybe it isn’t appropriate for your partner to take you home to meet their parents.

That is, unless you count my first boyfriend – José – who, in the second grade, long-distance collect-called me from Puerto Rico and got me in a lot of trouble with my dad. But I think it’s worth revisiting these concepts within the context of romantic or sexual relationships. And the way we practice our allyship in those contexts should reflect that.

So, whether you’re years deep in a charmingly fairy tale-esque romance with your beau or you’re just now firing up to dive into your first, here are seven things to remember as a white person involved with a person of color.